Burlington Derailed — The Continuing Story


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04 November

Anyone But Lost Keys Bill Ell

Hi Spike,

You put way too much emphasis on the lost school keys. When the school keys were lost so were the keys to city hall. Everyone has forgotten that.

I think we need to look at Bill Ell's recent history during the railroad lawsuit. Ell lied to the public and hid the truth from all of us.

How could anyone endorse him based on his deceitful ways?


Makes you wonder what else he is lying about and what he doesn't tell the rest of the council.


01:05:00 - SPIKE - No comments

20 May

Lost Keys” Ell Says “We Have A Good Case….Worth The Investment”

Mayor Thinks Counterclaim Is A Scare Tactic “We’ve Got To See It Through”

Spike, “You Better Be Scared, You Don’t Have A Thing Going In Your Favor”

This morning “Lost Keys” Bill Ell said that he believes the city has a good case against the BNSF railroad. Ell said, “I’m thinking we should be able to win this.” I suppose you based that opinion on the unbiased advice you’re getting from your golf buddy Slagle.

Somebody should direct “Lost Keys” to BurlingtonDerailed.com for some enlightenment. Ell needs to stop reading Power’s memos. Ell needs to READ the 1985 agreement AND the counter claim filed against the city. Then tell us that he believes we have a good case.

Who knows, maybe “Lost Keys” really does believe everything Power says. Or maybe he doesn’t like to admit to a mistake when an old fashioned cover up will do.

Meanwhile, the mayor has been pictorially demoted to below the fold. In the front page article the mayor's picture was placed below "Lost Keys." Edwards is now in 2nd place behind the council’s new spokesman “Lost Keys” right beneath "Lost Keys" photo.

I guess the newspaper feels the way many taxpayers do. With everyone playing charades, nobody is in control.
02:30:00 - SPIKE - No comments

02 January

New Mayor Today?


I guess if the drunk mayor gets a ride home from BK we'll get a new mayor today. I can't believe the advertiser would get behind Ell. He is such a disappointment.


I didn't know the Master of Deceit and Minister of Misinformation Lost Keys could stay up that late. Or was Lost Keys seen riding around with the drunk ex-mayor Edwards campaigning?

Maybe this will be the day Lost Keys misses a meeting. Since Ell became mayor his attendance record improved.

I'm not saying it made any difference. Only that his attendance record at the council meetings improved.

I wonder if Lost Keys got thrown out of any liquor stores on his golf vacation this year?


00:18:00 - SPIKE - No comments

07 May

Lost Keys Role In Anamosa's Lost Keys


Was Ell in charge of the Anamosa keys, too? That would explain how they ended up on eBay!


10:44:59 - SPIKE - No comments

04 November

Lost Keys Explained in a New York Minute


I'm tired of you harping about the lost school keys. Things happen at work everyday. Give it a rest.


Our focus isn't about the lost keys. Our focus is then Fire Chief Bill Ell hiding the fact the keys were lost from the Burlington City Council and taxpayers for over 8 months. That was wrong and in a real city his ass would have hit the door in a New York Minute*.


*Def. New York Minute, the total elapsed time in New York it takes from the time the light turns green until the first horn honks, usually measured in milliseconds.

01:08:00 - SPIKE - No comments

30 December

Lost Keys Ell Golfing


Lost Keys Ell couldn't show up for two council meetings because he either couldn't find the keys to the van or gas prices have gone beyond his reach.

But he found enough time and money to go golfing in Mississippi.


02:00:52 - SPIKE - No comments

01 January

Ell Not The Choice


How in the world does King think Ell would make a good Mayor? Bill Ell lost those fire dept. keys to the schools and then it cost the taxpayers over $50,000 for new keys and legal fees for Scott Power. Ell hid the lost keys incident for more than 6 months from city council.

I hear that Ell and Slagle spend a lot of time together golfing and drinking. How long would the citizens go without knowing what was going on?


Just keep in mind those Mayor Ell thoughts came from King's mindless wanderings. I still want to know how Ell got on City Council to begin with. He should have been fired for concealing the lost keys from the Council. Golf and drinking with Slagle figures into it.


12:05:43 - SPIKE - No comments

01 June

Train Horns & Tin Horn


Correct me if I`m wrong, but didn`t all this talk of the train noise start after the City of Burlington lost their lawsuit with the Railroad ?

I think we have a bunch of cry babies living in Burlington. There are a lot of other things these people should be bitching about, namely, our so called City Council & all of their antics.


They can bitch all they want. It's going to cost somewhere between $250,000 and $400,000 per crossing to install quiet zones.

All of a sudden Lost Keys Ell is concerned for the taxpayers. Lost Keys would be the first in line when his lateral sewer line broke.

Lost keys didn't care when he spent $57,000+ covering up the lost school keys. He's a tin horn, phony blow-hard that is facing re-election with us on his ass.

The lateral sewer fund is a good idea. But it needs to have a cap on the amount collected and safeguards so Slagle can't get his slimy grip on the money. Otherwise, Slagle will be paying for everything he should have exercised financial restraint on.


02:07:00 - SPIKE - No comments

19 September

Citizen Turns Up Council Heat - Major Whoopass!

Resident John Fenton Hammers Council

Last night local resident John Fenton asked City Manager Bruce Slagle, Mayor Edwards and Lost Keys Ell for their resignation because of their role in the failed BNSF lawsuit.

Fenton asked the council many tough questions that for the most part went unanswered. And considering the questions, I see why.

The behavior of Lost Keys Ell, Edwards and especially that jackass Slagle were the reason Burlington is on the map today.

The biggest disappointment was Lost Keys Bill Ell. Ell kept hammering at Fenton to find out where he did his homework. When Fenton didn’t answer Lost Keys got more belligerent and told Fenton his facts were wrong.

When Fenton shot back, “What facts were wrong?” Lost Keys was at a total loss for even one itty-bitty example. Nothing, nada, zippo. Ell could not name one thing!!!

From where I sat, John Fenton did what more people need to do, take these three accomplices to task for their role in deceiving Burlington citizens as to their capacity to govern for the good of the community.

It looked more like the lunch crowd got caught, out to lunch.

We’ll try to get Fenton’s remarks. If we do, look for them right here.

06:08:21 - SPIKE - No comments

05 February

Lost Keys Bill Ell

Lost Keys' History Lesson of Public Corruption


You haven't weighed in on the Chamber Pots' canonization of Bill Ell.

How come?


Simply, to the point.


06:54:00 - SPIKE - No comments

13 September

He's Back

City Hall Under Siege

Former Burlington Mayor William Lost Keys “Bill” Ell is running for city council again.


Just when you thought it was safe with Tim Scott resigning, Lost Keys Ell has arisen from Burlington's political graveyard. If Burlington voters have any sense they will turn their ballots into silver bullets.

Burlington taxpayers can not afford another episode of Nightmare on Washington Street.

01:34:00 - SPIKE - No comments

31 October

Lost Keys” Ell Says “We Have A Good Case….Worth The Investment” - Finale

On May 20, 2006 “Lost Keys” Bill Ell said that he believes the city has a good case against the BNSF railroad. Ell said, “I’m thinking we should be able to win this.”

He sure hit the nail on the head of reality with that burst of knowledge.

With judgement like this, who needs Power to tell us all how "winnable" the case was.

01:30:17 - SPIKE - No comments

24 July



IS lost Keys in dry out?

I also see we have money to redo Jefferson Street again. I wish we could finish all the city streets just one time before we spend cash on Jefferson again.

Gary Thomas also states we have to stop taking from the poor so they will quit assaulting people.

Disgusted Taxpayer

We don't know where Lost Keys is and no one is talking except Junior Murray.

Speaking of rehab, Denis Leary has a YouTube video about going to rehab. Keep in mind this is an adult rated video and may offend the church people. The video does keep a proper perspective of rehab. If you don't want fixin', no need to go.

Money for Jefferson Street is like money for the water park or the Chamber - Gone!

Garry is just being Garry. He doesn't have a clue he has nothing in common with these criminals. Nothing.


11:59:00 - SPIKE - No comments

21 July

Anybody Seen The Mayor?


Has anyone seen our mayor since the flood? Was the road washed out to Flint Hills? Did he make himself known during/after the flood?

Where is "his Lost Keys?" Or for that matter, any of our elected officials?


Vacation. Had to be. Maybe the Maytag repair school.

The Ad Vertiser hasn't sought input from them in over a month. Lost Keys must feel left behind.


06:15:29 - SPIKE - No comments

28 December

Lost Keys Is Still Lost


Why doesn't Ell just resign from city council. He missed another meeting. I don't count attendance by telephone as meeting the citizen's needs for representation.

If he is sick he should tell us he is sick. If he is on a golf vacation he needs to come home.

He hasn't been in city hall in over a month.


He can't find the keys to his van.


04:51:00 - SPIKE - No comments

31 October

The Final Answer Is - Jobs or Money?

During Tuesday's candidate forum one question wasn't asked of Lost Keys Ell. So here we go to fill in the gaps.

Lost Keys, was the railroad lawsuit about money or jobs?

And maybe throw in the answer to when did you learn of the 1985 Agreement? We'd like a straight answer to that simple question.

01:23:10 - SPIKE - No comments

09 April

Can't Stand The Thoughts of Lost Keys' Financial Mismanagement


I see Lost Keys can't stand the thought of spending $20,000 to find a qualified city manager.

I can't stand the thought Lost Keys cost this city $58,000 for the lost school key incident he lied about and tried to cover up or the $400,000 in legal fees for Ell's "winnable case" railroad lawsuit he tried to shovel down our throats like baby Robins.

Maybe if he had thought longer about suing the firemen we'd have $20,000 to find a new manager. Or making Scott Power itemize his bill we might have the $20,000.

Better yet, if you factor in the costs of the failed strip mall we could have paid a city manager $125,000 per year for 42 years.

Obviously the council and staff can't get the job done. We better find someone that can.


Five months of failure and the bills to show for it.

The council will never reach qualified applicants. A professional head hunter will deliver 10 candidates in less than 30 days. Anyone of which will make a good city manager.

In a process that won't be conducted in illegal closed session meetings.


12:07:00 - SPIKE - No comments

06 September

Garbage Crisis Averted

Lost Keys” Ell Garbage Effort To Pay Off

Lost Keys” Ell deep concern over the landfill garbage crisis in Burlington has reached new heights. Something is being done to protect the citizens from the crazed garbage men running amok in Des Moines County and is truly remarkable legislation.

The Burlington City Council, in its infinite wisdom to regulate everyone to the max, has decided to further regulate garbage haulers. Even though it is already illegal for waster haulers to haul garbage to another landfill, the local regional waste director has convinced Ell this lost garbage is a looming financial crisis and must be dealt with.

Good job, “Lost Keys.” Your single-handed effort to correct this huge mis-carriage of garbage is truly remarkable and something to be proud of.

And the foresight to impose a $750 fine for breaking the new law really shows them who is boss. And the world is a better place for your meddling in regional waste’s business and should be applauded.

Now, if you would show as much interest and concern in protecting the Burlington taxpayers’ fiduciary interests, we might respect your efforts. Otherwise, it’s just garbage.

00:20:00 - SPIKE - No comments

02 July

Lost Keys Ell The New Mayor

Bob Saar begged for Ell’s vote from Campbell. Murray showed his true colors in his nomination of Ell. Thomas said he had the most charisma.

Murray and Scott added to Lost Keys vote to land Mumbles in his role as mayor in the 2nd ballot.

Instead of a drunk now we have a leader for the community that withheld the fact that the keys to the school had been lost and kept that loss from the city council and the citizens for over 5 months and ultimately led to the taxpayers coughing up $57,000 in attorney fees paid to Scott Power.

Golfing buddies with Slagle, Slagle’s pocket pool player and now Puppet Mayor.

The vote was 3-2 to elect Garry Thomas as mayor pro-tem.

So will someone tell me how much better off we are now. Maybe Bob Saar can spin up some Ted Nugent tonight and tell us how good this is and how he got designated the Ad Vertiser's city hall lobbyist.


Oh yeah, Mary Baker showed up wanting to know what mayor pro tem meant.

19:32:56 - SPIKE - No comments

10 December

Mike "Marion Barry" Edwards


So I read in the advertiser yesterday that the peeing public defender is charged with drunk driving three weeks after the fact. Our own Mike "Marion Barry" Edwards is caught with the smoking gun (or in this case smoking exhaust) and skates. I challenge Senator King to look us all in the eye Monday night on the T.V. and tell us "the conduct in this case is no different". He's just pathetic. Oh, and a sore loser.

I'll bet you could find "witnesses" that saw Edwards driving that night, too. Would they arrest him then? And finally, when it is time to relace the mayor, can you find anyone who wants the job? What bar should we be looking for our next mayor in? Lord help us if Lost Keys takes over!


I wonder how they can charge the public defender so long after the fact based on witness statements. Maybe we should demand DCI find the Edwards' witnesses and quiz them about Edwards' erratic behavior. I wonder if they have video for that arrest?

I swear, Lost Keys Ell is the biggest mistake this city could make as a replacement mayor for Edwards. As we reported months ago, Ell was in discussion with his handlers to let Edwards take the fall for the railroad lawsuit and then Lost Keys could slide into the Mayor's job.

Anyone in a position of authority that conceals information about losing the school keys for 7 months should have been fired. Not allowed to retired. But fired. Zero tolerance for deceit.

Then to hear Lost Keys gets on his sanctimonious podium and tell us what we should be doing is about all I can stomach.

And King. He is such a non-event.

First things first. We have a mayor that needs replacing.


04:42:00 - SPIKE - No comments

20 October

Griffin Appoints Lost Keys Ell Police Chief

During the recent Burlington City Council candidate forum, candidate Chuck Griffin stated he was very pleased that he helped appoint Bill Ell as Police Chief.

Now I know why Ell hid the $55,000 lost keys from the city council and the citizens.

Ell showed up at the Fire Station and he was supposed to be over at the Police Station.

00:18:00 - SPIKE - No comments

25 July

Lost Keys At Camp?


Mayor Ell spends a few weeks each summer volunteering at Camp Eastman. Perhaps this is one of those weeks.

John Sandell

That would be the paradox of the summer. Lost Keys preaching not to lie, cheat or steal.

In fact, according to the Boy Scout Scout Oath:

"On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight."

there leaves little latitude for the politically corrupt and morally unjust.


00:15:00 - SPIKE - No comments

12 October

Skipping School


I heard Ell and Murray on the talk show the other day. Wasn't Wednesday a school day? How can Murray skip school to attend a radio campaign event? Doesn't this acknowledge the school system's endorsement of Murray for a council seat?

Murray ran as a Republican against Cahoon for his seat in the Iowa legislature and lost. Now he is a Democrat. How far will he go to win this seat?


As far as the Democrats will push him. It's amazing how far the local goombas will go to occupy a seat or promote a candidate. Lost Keys Ell sat as fire chief for years against labor union contracts.

Now, Lost Keys is promoted as labor's answer to a municipal election. The big union drunk ex-mayor must be real proud of that revelation.


02:38:00 - SPIKE - No comments

14 May

Junior Murray Spouts Off – Scott, Rightly, Stomps Out

After Junior Murray applied his educational background instead of real world work experience to the suggested outrageous hike in sewer fees, Councilman Tim Scott rightly stomped out of the council work session.

What came later is the Embarrassment of Burlington, Gas Bag Mayor Lost Keys Bill Ell, chastising Scott for leaving the meeting, stating, “It’s not the way a member of the council should be acting.”

Lost Keys should talk about being an embarrassment. The lost school key, thrown out of a liquor store for farting, deceiving the public over the railroad lawsuit and lying to the public over every mismanaged step he takes.

It’s about damn time a member of this city council took a stand on something instead of wimping along under the spell of city hall.

And it's far too late for Gas Bag Mayor Lost Keys Bill Ell to make up for time scrutinizing council behavior after he lost years of opportunity to chastise the drunk ex-mayor Mike Edwards for all his stupid, dumb ass moves and embarrassing behavior.

Look closely in the mirror Bill; the image you see is one of glaring embarrassment. Very similar to the spineless bellyfish, found only on West Jefferson.


06:46:28 - SPIKE - No comments

10 October

Ell To Be Upset By Lies & Deceit

We're going to have a month long opportunity to send Lost Keys Bill Ell home.

It's going to start with his management and lack of leadership at the Fire Department. And the lost keys will only scrape the dirt off.

It will end with this buffoon's diluted cerebral mush regarding the railroad lawsuit. "It's about the jobs!"

If the citizens of this city put this incompetent boob back in office, you folks deserve everything Ell, Slagle and Power are going to ram down our throats.

This guy should have been on the porch years ago. Fired.

I just can't get by Ell's outright, blatant lies to the public and city council as a city employee.

Who does Bill Ell think he is, Hans Trousil?


01:10:00 - SPIKE - No comments

08 May

"Lost Key" Bill Ell Has New Reason For BNSF Lawsuit

It's Not About Jobs, It's Not About Money

It's About "Protecting The Citizens' Interests"

According to this morning's newspaper "Lost Key" Bill Ell stated Friday the true reason for the BNSF lawsuit. Ell said, "It's clearly a breach of contract and we do need to defend the citizens' interests."

This comes from the guy that was Fire Chief when the fire department lost the school master key. "Lost Key" Ell then withheld the incident from the city council FOR 7 MONTHS even though the council had paid the bill for replacement locks.

Keys get lost. Although costly, that's a part of doing business.

But not admitting a mistake and then covering it up; that's outright deceit. Something "Lost Key" appears to freely condone.

"Lost Key" clearly didn't defend the citizens' interests then. Why would he so graciously do that now?

08:45:43 - SPIKE - No comments

20 June

Anyone Seen Our Elected Officials?

Has anyone seen any of our locally elected officials during this flood disaster? Any of them sandbagging? Lost Keys looking for the keys to the pump room?

Hell, has anyone seen Hoschek in the National Guard chow line now that he is unemployed?

Where are all the self-righteous, self-important now that they have a real cause to stand behind? Preparing for the November elections?


10:55:00 - SPIKE - No comments

06 January

City Hall Tribute to Lost Keys Bill Ell

If you welled up some big, fat crocodile tears for Lost Keys Bill Ell's departure from city hall, let these two profound statements be written next to his portrait in hallway on a solid gold plaque for future generations to ponder when asked about how rotten was this town when Ell would be King?

1. Ell's biggest disappointment was losing the railroad lawsuit.....Federal Judge Charles R. Wolle sided with BNSF, saying the city's claim was "without merit."

"I think that was essentially a miscarriage of justice..." Ell said.

2. "Doug (Worden) and I have been volunteers in 10 or 15 different organizations together organizations together for so long..."

Then draw a myopic, provincial Big Eye around the entire portrait, the lost school key and gold plaque.

We finally heard the door slam shut on incompetence, twice. Once for Ell and once for numb nuts Worden.


10:19:00 - SPIKE - No comments

15 June

City Council


I agree with our council and Mayor Pro-Tem Bill Ell's suggestion to appoint a volunteer council person to fill the vacant seat until the November election. If a petition is gathered by the citizens to hold an election, they should support that too. After all, the citizens have a right to select their representative, more so than the current council. I agree to save the cost of an election, when one is so near.

I question Ell's strong desire to save the taxpayers' money. He said he should be a good steward of the citizens' tax dollars. True!

So why didn't Bill Ell and the council take this same taxpayer safe guard when they sued the railroad and wasted over $300,000 of taxpayer money? Now Ell is concerned with a $9,000 election cost? That was the biggest waste and poorest decision in the history of any council.

It was obvious to anyone that could read that the City would lose this lawsuit. The attorneys made a lot of money, and everybody else lost. Didn't Ell say all along that we have a winnable case. How ridiculous! I would feel ashamed if I spent the citizens hard earn money like that.

concerned taxpayer

Lost Keys Ell professed loudly and at the direction of his Lordship Slagle, "We have a winnable case." Ell wouldn't know a winnable case from the location of the lost school keys. Both are hopelessly lost, forever.

If the people of this community want more of the same crap that Edwards brought to the table, vote for Lost Keys Ell. You'll get a royal dose of Dumb Ass Mayors, Part Deux.


00:20:00 - SPIKE - No comments

03 August

Council Vote Tonight On Huck’s Harbor

Tonight the Burlington City Council votes on the GRE/Huck’s Harbor bailout. It could go any direction. Only Garry Thomas and Jim Davidson have the spirit to reserve their vote until tonight’s council meeting in order to hear the citizens. Whether it makes a difference remains to be seen.

No word has been received whether or not Mayor Lost Keys Bill Ell will attend this meeting. Nor has word been received if Lost Keys is still a stockholder in Catfish Bend/GRE.

Check in on channel 18 tonight to see your council in action. Or inaction as it may ultimately become.

06:55:00 - SPIKE - No comments

15 November

Send Lost Keys to Loot D. C.


Big city mayors are already whining about going broke. Of course, it is the world economy that is to blame. Their own fiscal irresponsibility is never even remotely related to the piggy bank being bare.

Burlington needs to get in there with the banks, stock brokers, auto companies and every other group seeking a hand out. Burlington maybe small, but we have a casino water park, empty lot retail development, etc. etc. to prove our irresponsibility is second to none.

Lost Keys needs to click on the Advertiser's link and book his flight from Moline with great haste. The great bloated sow in Washington has already been milked of nearly a trillion dollars. Our Mayor needs to be there while there is still an open teat with at least a trickle of "free" funding from D. C.


01:45:00 - SPIKE - No comments

05 September

Edwards and Ell Need To Resign


I think Edwards and Ell need to resign. Between the railroad lawsuit and the lost school keys these two lied to the public and it cost us a lot of money.

Edwards and Ell both wanted to give Slagle another pay raise because of the good job he was doing. Do they feel that way now after Slagle burned the tapes?

Edwards and Ell are not good for Burlington and the other council members should ask them to resign Tuesday night and accept their resignation, Tuesday night.

We don't need liars with a pattern of deception running this city. These guys are more than thugs and bums.


They won't resign because they don't have the mental faculties to realize their lies and devious behavior is abnormal.

Maybe we can recall Edwards and put enough heat on Lost Keys to resign before he gets a vote count similar to SL King.


04:25:00 - SPIKE - No comments

12 February

Burlington - City of Losers - Led By a Loser


One thing we do know, Burlington has the stupidest city council, mayor and city manger known to man, save for the congress of the United States. They have no backbone or conscience, otherwise they would never have voted to pay city employees those disgustingly gross salaries stolen from the public under the guise of taxes needed to repair our falling down dump of a city.

They could have told the city employees no raise for the next five years just as easily as giving them everything for nothing, after all it’s only taxpayer money and it grows on trees: so they think.

The voter in Burlington is ignorant by voting in the same revolving door dimwits year after year despite their not having enough brains to get out of the rain.

The mayor is a joke and nothing but a retired fireman who cost the taxpayers over $50,000 for the keys he lost to the schools on his watch. The voter then turns around and elects this known loser to the council and then the council makes him the mayor, something he knows nothing about and they do it twice. Talk about a comedy of errors, Burlington has it all when it comes to losers.

Cascade Bridge is falling down because the city spent the money on the Manor, railroad lawsuit, Iowa’s worst lawyer, employee wage and benefit increases and the worst part - bonus money for the loser managers employed by the city.

The East St. Louis syndrome is gaining ground here in Burlington and soon we’ll be their sister city. Our city hall probably thinks it’s an honor to be similar to East St. Louis. I know it won’t surprise anyone but them.


Don't lump Lost Keys Bill Ell into the category of a fireman. Lost Keys is a pathetic liar that got caught lying while deceiving the public.

No real fireman would want Lost Keys anywhere near a real fire.

They couldn't trust him.


05:15:00 - SPIKE - No comments

01 October

Mayor Denies Wrongdoing - Ell Totally Out Of Touch

We mentioned yesterday let's wait and see what our gas bag mayor, Lost Keys Bill Ell, had to say about the Ombudsman report on the city's illegal meeting over the railroad lawsuit.

Ell did not disappoint us.

"When asked about changes in city policies spurred by the destruction of tape recordings and minutes of closed-door meetings related to the lawsuit against BNSF by Slagle, Ell said, "I don't think anything was done wrong or illegal. ... Why would we change anything?"

That's right Lost Keys, why would you change anything? Once a criminal always a criminal.

Maybe when you get popped for a DUI you can try that line, "I don't think anything was done wrong or illegal..." on the judge.

In the meantime, I'm sure someone will prepare examples of the continual violations of the open meeting law by the Burlington City Council and forward them to the Ombudsman.


11:37:32 - SPIKE - No comments

30 December

Burlington's MIA Lost Keys Bill Ell Retains Crown

04:30:00 - SPIKE - No comments

04 September

Is It Time for a Burlington Batman?


Sometimes I think Burlington is in desperate need of a Batman type character! As I'm listening to the local PD on the scanner, call after call is for a theft, an assault or vandalism. What the hell is happening to this town?

I used to laugh when people from the smaller communities around the Burlington area would comment on not coming to Burlington because of the crime and not being able to come out of your house after dark, but now I'm starting to wonder if it might be true.

Considering an average call to the local PD takes them about 30 - 45 minutes to respond if it isn't a "life or death" issue. So don't waste your time calling in a drug deal going on in the street, a group of area youths gathering in the street and not moving when cars come down it, or a domestic fight going on next door because by the time the PD get there, the deal will be done, the group will be gone and someone will end up dead in the domestic fight.

Does anyone have one of the big search lights we can borrow and tape outline of maybe a Key to shine in the sky to see if the mayor or the PD will notice?


Well, first thing is you would only need a flashlight shining in Lost Keys beady little eyes at the Sombrero to find him. Or better yet, just kick open the front door and yell - Lost Keys, free beer, there's been another disappointment.

Second, the thought of Lost Keys Bill Ell in a rubber suit is something best left for the closet since it won't frighten hardened criminals and it would scare most good cops.

Maybe we should have Brian Tapp write some grants for crime fighting money since he brought the problems to Burlington. That seems most realistic.


02:25:00 - SPIKE - No comments

24 July



Has K B U R let another award winner go; or where is J K Martin? I see Hexom and Cary are still around though.


Hiding out with Lost Keys?


11:53:00 - SPIKE - No comments

24 August

Jerry Strauss Is Major Liability


Sounds like Jerry Strauss is the equivalent of Lost Keys Ell or Iowa’s worst ex city manager Bruce Slagle but I have a feeling the damage caused by Strauss will far exceed the amount wasted by Lost Keys Ell or even possibly what Slagle lost for the taxpayer should the building have to be destroyed.

Just how in the hell could this have gone on for so long? Just who is in charge of taxpayer property in the county, if anyone?

Strauss’s name on the county web site just says “E911” just what the hell does that mean, is he in charge of the 911 operators or what? What’s that got to do with taxpayer property or is he multi-functional for the county?

Doesn’t the county have a person directly in charge of the taxpayer’s property?

I hope the county isn’t as poorly run as the city although it’s hard not to make the comparison. With only one competent supervisor the people have little representation at the court house.

One thing for sure, the raises and bonus money will flow as usual regardless of the lack of responsibility and accountability because the county has no more respect for taxpayer money than the city does.

None of the people involved would ever make it in the private sector because of their incompetence. That’s the problem with government, it’s where all the loons go to feed off the taxpayer and remain immune from responsibility and accountability; actually it’s a form of welfare for the incompetent, although they're overpaid and excessively benefited.


10:30:00 - SPIKE - No comments

05 July

The Illegal Vote

Great Job Lost Keys, I can't wait to see what the next illegal action is. I hope Bob Saar is feeling better now that his political endorsement is doing such a remarkable job.


04:32:00 - SPIKE - No comments

14 August

Ell Whistling Through His Shorts


According to the Hawk Eye
Mayor Bill Ell responded, "I just have the feeling I'm being coerced here by the railroad. I don't know if that's true but they're asking us to spend some fairly large dollars for something they created, and I don't know how much benefit the railroad is to Burlington at this point."

You think Ell and the rest would have learned their lesson in Davenport. The BNSF is not a big Lionel train set for these children to operate as they see fit. Children playing on the railroad tracks get run over.

True, it is no longer 1907 when every thing and body came in and out of town on the train. This is not to say rail is no longer an asset to a community. Who the hell would locate any sizable industrial plant or bulk distribution center here without rail access? Their beloved and subsidized ethanol plant would pull the plug without rail.

Something the railroad created is called Burlington. Burlington is something the likes of Ell and company have been destroying.

Only a fool would wonder what benefit a railroad's main line is to Burlington. A better question to ask is what value are idiots like Ell to Burlington.


I'll say this, Lost Keys Ell has been consistent. Consistently out of touch with reality, the world and what they hell goes on that he misses when he is off looking for the lost keys to the schools.

I cannot fathom that this guy has any sort of clue other than to tie his shoe laces each day. On the day the BNSF, Iowa DOT, the consultants and Bob Saar are all trying to work the quiet zone deal, our Mayor demonstrates his entire intellectual capacity in one remark. I'll bet that dumb ass remark went over real big with the railroad.

I suppose you could call hot air flipping through an old man's pants whistling. But it don't smell like hot air and it reminds me of why he was asked to leave a liquor store down South on !

If Lost Keys was 10 years younger I'd swear he used LSD.


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03 October

Depot Project Scrapped - Taxpayers To Pay Bill

Regional Planning Abandons Downtown Burlington

During Monday's council call in session "Lost Keys" Bill Ell told us that after the thousands of dollars paid to Metzger Johnson to study the depot for the relocation of Southeast Iowa Regional Planning, Regional Planning now wants to move to the Southeast Community College campus in West Burlington.

Lost Keys said that Regional Planning's Executive Director Brian Tapp doesn't want to move to the depot. With this expected move, it is readily apparent that Brian Tapp could care less about supporting downtown Burlington or being within hailing distance of city hall.

I believe the city paid about $50,000 for the depot analysis. Maybe that jackass Tapp can go to his bags of money and reimburse the Burlington taxpayers.

Better yet, don't stop at West Burlington, just keep heading west Tapp.

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29 July

What's The Difference Between Ell & Conyers?

Will someone tell me what the difference between John Conyers' approach to legislation and that of Lost Keys Bill Ell's approach? Ell doesn't read or understand anything and just stamps where Doug Worden tells him to make his mark. And Ell hasn't been seen at a public council meeting in so long maybe he should be removed from office.

Rumors have it that he is at Camp Eastman Boy Scout Camp. I wonder what he is doing there? Looking for the lost school keys? Or teaching Boy scouts how to lie, cheat and shirk their moral duties?

Conyers does say what we all know is true about 99.8% of Congress. Maybe Mike Sweet would like to weigh in on this fine Democrat's behavior. Or maybe Tom Courtney making a comment.

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03 February

A Benchmark for Slagle's Pay?

Somewhere Over The Rainbow!


Slagle claims it was a photo finish for the Marion City Managers job. To his buddy the Drunk Mayor, that means Slagle is worth more money.

Seeing how the new City Manager in Marion is starting out at $110,025, do you think the Drunk Mayor will propose Slagle be paid twice as much?

From the Cedar Rapids Gazette -


"The City Council last night set the annual salary for new City Manager Lon Pluckhahn at $110,025. Pluckhahn, who will begin his duties March 5, is the city manager of Platteville, Wis. Pluckhahn also will receive $4,000 to cover the costs of relocation."


From what we hear it was no photo finish unless you use a movie camera.

Edwards has several more years to repay Slagle for his Burger King sleepover. With "Lost Keys" somewhere over the rainbow they only need one more vote.

All that crap about a sidewalk and demolition program is lunacy. To get that $60,000 "Lost Keys" will promote a fire department layoff.

Those bozos have no idea what financial management is. If you shorted them a dollar on their paycheck they'd sue. And they are all bad tippers like most Mindless Lemming Leeches are.


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31 August

Manor Mall Mayhem - "I Need More Time"

Ell and Worden's Incompentancy Costs Taxpayers $2,550,000 - So Far


"The city is paying 6.5 percent interest on the debt, which will amount to $2.75 million if the bonds are paid off on schedule in June 2021. The city this June made an annual loan payment of $853,420."

Burlington's City Council is finally willing to pay a commission to clean up their mess. Misery is what often happens when policy is turned over to a City Manager. Bend over and bite the onion.

Bruce Slagle should never have gotten out of town without a crown of tar and feathers Least we forget, thank you, State Senator Courtney. That eminent domain bill exclusion rider in the Iowa Senate made it all possible.

Penny Less

Lost Keys Mayor Bill Ell can't bite the bullet for his role in the Manor Mall heist. No one in city hall knows what the hell to do with that land grab. But Worden pleads for more time. more time, I need more time.

Coupled with his lost fire house key, Ell has cost taxpayers (3) Manor Mall payments and $50,000 in lost keys or $2,550,000 so far with his blatant incompetency. And he defends the Big Slug Doug Worden?

And the council just sits in the big chairs and play Solitaire. Or whatever they play with.

For 4 years.


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18 May

Parading Through Purgatory


I missed Budweiser's Clydesdale powered beer wagon making deliveries. I was shocked to read how poorly this event was handled by the City of Burlington.

After paying my taxes, I am lucky to have enough to buy Old Mil, or Blue Ribbon. I have been told over indulgence in the freight hauled by the Clydesdales has fueled many local political decisions in recent years. Observing these decisions, it is the only logical explanation.

If the Clydesdale crew had kicked off a complimentary keg, or two, at City Hall, would this event have been better handled.

A. B.

Lost Keys Mayor Bill Ell would have delivered keys to the city and a ride in his van to Gator's.


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06 September

Edwards & Ell Are Finished

I've said it many times, Edwards & Ell need to be shown the door. And The Twins' belligerent outbursts during Monday night's council meeting only show how out of control these guys are. And, how utterly incompetent they both are.

When a local citizen called for Edwards to apologize to Councilman Mike Campbell Edwards replied, “I told Mike in the work session he was right and that is as far as it is going to go.” Sounds typical. Little people offer to resign when they know there won't be enough votes to get it done. Even smaller people can't admit they made a mistake.

Then, Councilman Garry Thomas tried to answer a citizen's question about Slagle's tape burning when the Big Gas Bag, Lost Keys Ell took Thomas to task. Ell said it was a conflict until the 30 days were up in the lawsuit or some other crazy talk.

Fortunately, Thomas snapped Ell's crap right off at the lip and told Ell never to do it again.

Better go look for those lost keys, Bill. You stand a better chance of that instead of trying to fill your Hush Puppies with your condescending attitude of self-importance.

I swear, I have never seen anything like this preposterous behavior from anything other than drunk monkeys.

Scott, Thomas and Campbell better be heads up on how they fix these problems at City Hall. Everybody is watching and everybody is keeping score.


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06 November

Vote Today - No Excuses!

Vote For Anyone Other Than Bill Ell

Last election people complained that they were so busy they didn't have time to vote. No excuses are acceptable this time.

This town in headed to the wall faster than it ever has been before under the guidance of Lost Keys Ell and his vacation partner Bruce Slagle.

This Catastrophic Duo need to be shown the door.

The only way to do that is to vote. You showed Chris King the door. The drunk ex-mayor resigned. Now is time for Bill Ell to head home.

I just can't get past the lost school key and Ell's 8-month cover up.

You shouldn't either.

11:56:44 - SPIKE - No comments

02 January

Burlington Enters Darker Period

Master of Deceit and Minister of Misinformation Lost Keys Bill Ell moments ago was re-elected mayor. It truly is the signal of darker days ahead.

Can it get any worse?

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25 January

City Council Meeting


I do not know Leon Shahan, only from watching the city council meetings. We did watch the council meeting Tuesday night. We are in agreement that Shahan may sometimes be overbearing and criticize the council too much, but he sure is not wrong all of the time.

Thanks to Leon for going and asking questions. In fairness, he was 100% correct when he questioned everything on this Manor project and he said if Muir pulled out it would be a financial disaster. He was right. Bill Ell was wrong. Leon Shahan is smarter than Ell in many areas.

We should remember how Mayor Ell, Slagle and some of the council acted during this whole process when they were questioned by any citizen about this Manor Retail Development. They were very cocky, arrogant and they knew it all. This was going to be a sure thing and nothing was stopping it.

Ell said this was going to grow our tax base so we could provide more services. What Ell didn't think through, was it was going to take 20 years before we see a profit.

As it turns out, they are not near as smart as they thought they were. And they are going to have a high maintenance cost to take care of 23 acres, unless they let it grow up in weeds. Not to mention the $80,000 per year of taxpayer money that they lost. They sure do not understand how a purchase agreement works, or they just didn't read it!


Lost Keys didn't read any part of the purchase agreement or any other document related to anything since he lost the school keys. That's why he looks so stupid. He just let his "best friend" Slagle slide the paperwork under his nose and Ell stamped it like a good little boy.

Now he's read it and he still doesn't get it. He lied through his teeth and got caught doing it.

He doesn't realize that either.


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12 August

Stop Hiding Embarrassing Warts - Make Them Disappear Forever


Technology is getting closer to bending light so as to make objects disappear. Too bad all those lost Keys to the City did not glow in the dark.

In Burlington, a much older, chemical technology makes 'ner do well politicians disappear. Mix alcohol, car keys and a fast food franchise parking lot together with a dash of Spike to spread the news. Guaranteed to make municipal blemishes disappear forever.

Curved light your eyes flicker, but liquor is slicker.


02:06:00 - SPIKE - No comments